From Hope Deferred to Fearless Love: A Real-Time Shift!

Jessica Lynne
Apr 8
3 min read

Can I be real for a second? I’m in a weird season.

Like, last year felt like my Job year—I lost it all. It was full-on John 15 vibes with Jesus uprooting and pruning everything. If you’ve been around, you know it was my hope deferred year.

So when this new year came, I entered it resting. That’s all I did in January, because that’s what God asked me to do—just rest.

Then came February. I slowly started coming out of that season of stillness, and God gave me a word about Gideon. He showed me that I’d been hiding in the winepress way too long. It was time to step out.

Shortly after, I got this amazing opportunity to speak at an event. And honestly? That was the push I needed. I got back on social media, and suddenly, people were showing up—people who needed Jesus. Salvations started happening… through Instagram. Like, what?!

Then… it hit.Two weeks of straight up burnout. I couldn’t function. I was tired in every way—mentally, spiritually, physically. I found myself staring at a wall some days, just gone.

A lot was happening behind the scenes during those weeks. But in the middle of it, I heard God speak so clearly:"Read about Joshua conquering Ai."

At first, I honestly thought I was making that up. I’ve read the Bible twice, but I questioned it. Do those stories even go together? Does that even make sense?

But there it was. Joshua 7 and 8. So a few days later, I grabbed my iced Americano and went to the coffee shop to figure it out—not artificial intelligence AI… Joshua's Ai.

And while sitting there, I made my own "Ai battle plan." God told me I had to defeat some areas in my life before they defeat me. One of those? My next steps for the ministry.

Okay… here’s the secret (well, not a secret anymore): I started a YouTube channel.

That feels weird to say. But honestly? It’s been on my heart for years, even before Shift Worthy was a thing. So I made an imperfect video, posted it, and you know what?I didn’t even feel hyped.

And that’s odd for me—I'm the cheerleader girl! Normally I’d be like, “Woot woot! I did it!” But instead, I just felt this overwhelming peace. I think God’s reshaping me to walk in peace, not just hype.

So that’s one "Ai" I'm facing.

But God’s also given me two more things to step into. Last year, my word was Fearless—but ironically, I spent most of that year curled up in a spiritual ball, trying to survive. This year, though? I’m actually living it. It’s turning into my Fearless Esther Year.

I’m stepping out.Taking action. Saying yes without needing all the answers.

Last year I was in a class at church, and the pastor said something that rocked me. He said that people in the Kingdom tend to fall into two categories:

Logical Waiters
Bold Movers

And usually, God calls us to do the opposite of what we naturally lean toward.

That hit me hard. I’m a waiter. I’ll sit in the presence of Jesus all day, asking Him if it’s the right move, needing clarity, needing confirmation… and not take a single step.

But after God brought up Joshua and Ai, something shifted. A boldness rose up in me. My first move was YouTube. It might feel small, but for me? That was huge.

That same class taught me something else I’m holding onto: Follow peace. If peace is there—go. If peace leaves—pause.

Right now, I’m in a season where I don’t always hear God’s voice like I used to. Yes, I heard that Ai word, but that was out of the blue. I’ve been showing up, spending time with Jesus, but it’s quiet. Maybe this is just a faith season.

He’s already told me what to do. Now it’s just time to do it.

And maybe that’s what fearless love looks like: Doing it anyway. Not because of hype, but out of peace and obedience.

This year, my word is Love. And maybe… just maybe… that’s what’s happening.

I’m stepping out in love, Walking forward in faith, And leaving behind hope deferred.

What a shift.

Because here’s what I’m learning in real time: